SATIRE | Seasons Greetings from POTUS

KEATOR POLEMAN
Satire Columnist

 

My fellow Americans,

It is a great honor to be celebrating my first Christmas as your president. It is at this time that we all come together and celebrate the true meaning of the season: getting presents. I would like to share with you the gifts I have both received and hope to receive this year. There have never been such great gifts in the history of gifts; they’re yuge! I may have to send some of these back. We’ll have to wait and see… sad. On behalf of the First Family, here is The Twelve Days of Trump-mas.

 

On the first day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

A great wall made for free.

 

On the second day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the third day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two Dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Eight divisive comments

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Nine offended countries

Eight divisive comments

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Ten lawyers present

Nine offended countries

Eight divisive comments

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

Eleven months of mayhem

Ten lawyers present

Nine offended countries

Eight divisive comments

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me

A twelve white male Cabinet

Eleven months of mayhem

Ten lawyers present

Nine offended countries

Eight divisive comments

Seven links with Russia

Six tweets a minute

Five lawsuits pending

Four lying staffers

Three Mrs. Trumps

Two dumbass sons and

A great wall made for free.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s