SATIRE: CAPA to be demolished for new stadium

HOLLY JENKINS
Contributing Reporter

Campus officials recently announced exciting new plans for renovations. According to a post on the Student Concerns page, both CAPA buildings will be demolished this summer to make room for a new-and-improved football field and tailgating area.

Surrounding trees will be chopped down as well, as there was some concern about them blocking students’ views of the game. This expansion is still in the beginning stages, so there’s a lot of planning to be done, but renovators are hoping to begin construction in the summer of 2018.

“This is something we’ve been discussing the possibility of for years now,” Athletic Coordinator Derek Katsopolis said. “What’s the point of winning Chief Caddo if we don’t have an adequate space to house him? The biggest sports trophy in college football deserves the biggest football area.”

As for CAPA students, their classes will move to the old natatorium. The acoustics are amazing for theater productions because the emptiness of the building creates an amazing echo, eliminating the need for sound equipment.

“This is really a win-win situation,” Katsopolis said. “Other schools will see how much better we are than them, and our student athletes will finally get the recognition they deserve. We do feel bad that we have to say goodbye to our beautiful CAPA buildings, but there’s limited space on campus, and, ultimately, this is for the greater good. Our athletes are training to do God’s work, but they can’t be their best with the lack of available resources.”

“I’m so excited for this school to get back to what really matters. Our football players are the backbone of this school,” Katsopolis said, wiping away a tear.

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